First of all, a Major League Baseball player - a union one at that - can't get traded to Japan. Come on... suggesting something like that and then getting everyone involved the way the Phillies did in attempt to pull a prank on Kyle Kendrick in Clearwater yesterday, is just mean. Really, who doesn't know a player can't be traded to a team in Japan?
So ultimately, as documented everywhere, the Phillies and the press took delight in the shortcomings of another person. It was a poor unsuspecting rube who wasn't aware enough to know that he can't get traded to a team in Japan. Nor did he know that as a member of a union, he and his agent probably had some say in a trade to another league, let alone a league in another country... if it were allowable. Which it's not. But you know what they did? They laughed at him, and wrote about it and put it on TV.
Whatever happened to lighting someone's shoes on fire or the ol' football to the groin? Perhaps the Kendrick prank demonstrates the reason why reality shows and things in which people are voted off or forced to be humiliated by D-list "celebrities" in front of a large audiences are so popular - it's because we're a bunch of mean people who enjoy watching others "get what they deserve."
Look, baseball players are on edge about getting traded or waived this time of year anyway. Then there are injuries and the like that makes a ballplayer's job hang by such a tenuous thread. It's like walking around newspaper guys talking about buyouts and layoffs even though the company is still producing double-digit profit margins. Why mess with a guy's head like that?
Anyway, the point is: don't make fun of people who aren't... well, smart. It isn't nice. It's just like awful thing Jay Leno used to do where hit the streets to ask regular citizens basic knowledge questions only to yuck it up when he could prove that someone didn't know the significance of July 4. That's not funny, it's sad.
Still, traded to Japan? And they got him to believe it? Nice.
Remember when I wrote that signing Kris Benson was a bad idea, especially when the Phillies could get a player who could jump in now and help the team? Remember? I think it was a few days ago or something... hell, maybe I didn't even write it all. Maybe I just thought it and assumed I wrote it.
You know, because sports writing is so vital to the national discourse...
Anyway, because the Phillies are paying Benson a minimal base salary with incentives that could reach $5 million if he tallies up 200 innings and 30 starts, it's a pretty good deal.
It's a bargain, actually... like shopping at T.J. Maxx or knowing a guy who knows a guy who can get some stuff from time to time.
So the Phillies picked up a deal for a low price. Good. Now if he can last the year it's even better.
Oh yeah... Benson is married, too. Everyone is writing about how his wife is going to turn up in Clearwater or something. But since we have never written about ballplayer wives before, there's no reason to start up now.
If she can pitch or has another noteworthy talent, then that makes it a different story.
 I can't believe I'm admitting to have knowledge of Jay Leno's awful show. Truthfully, I've had dental work that got more chuckles than the best episode of Jay Leno's show. Then again, my dentist is funny... gotta give him credit there.