OK, maybe not. Certainly it’s no fun to go to a party and then be told to leave before the fun really starts. What happens if they have a piñata at the party or if Kurt Warner climbs up onto the roof and proclaims himself a, “Golden God!”
That’s no fun when you’re at home licking your wounds after two weekends in Dallas where you go your bottom spanked. What is this, masochism? No, it’s football.
Anyway, the fun part for me was doing that point-spread thang last weekend where I went a supernal 3-1 by choosing the Cowboys, Ravens and Cardinals to cover. I dare any of those obnoxiously loud degenerates with their web sites and dial-in numbers to hang with that.
In other words, kudos. Kudos to me.
So let’s see if we can duplicate last weekend’s stellarness. Or better yet, let’s try and top it.
Arizona Cardinals vs. New Orleans Saints
Pick: Saints (minus-7)
The Saints signed running back Deuce McAllister yesterday even though he can no longer play football. In doing so, McAllister immediately gets a $21,000 as his portion of the team’s playoff share. That’s $21K for signing his name and then standing around and looking import. You know, kind of like a U.S. Congressman with a lower paycheck.
Come early for the 11 o’clock show… we work blue.
Baltimore Colts vs. Indianapolis NFL Football Club
Pick: (Indianapolis minus-6)
Ever been to Indianapolis? Crazy place, huh? Not sure I like how they pilfered the name “Colts” from Baltimore, but that seems to be the modus operandi of that group of muckety-mucks from the Indiana NFL entry. In fact, a few years ago there was a lawsuit filed against little ol’ Cedar Cliff High School in Camp Hill, Pa. (just outside of Harrisburg… there’s a state pen’ there) because they have the nickname “Colts,” and have white helmets with a blue horseshoe on it.
Guess what? The Cedar Cliff Colts were older than the Indianapolis Colts. In other words, the Indiana football team was trying to steal the same name again only this time it was from a bunch of high school kids.
There's a name for people like that...
“Let me make it clear, that we took the name from the Baltimore Colts . . . not from Indianapolis. We followed the Baltimore Colts and respected what they meant to the NFL,” said Bob Craig in a 1994 interview with the Baltimore Sun. “We admired Johnny Unitas and Lenny Moore in particular. By the way, Stan Jones, who entered the Pro Football Hall of Fame, is an alumnus of our school. Cedar Cliff came about by a merger of New Cumberland and Lemoyne. I'd sure like to see the NFL try to tell all the high school teams, there must be 10,000 of them, that use the name Redskins. The same with us and the Colts.”
Additionally, it was Cedar Cliff with tight end Kyle Brady that beat my J.P. McCaskey Red Tornadoes in the 1988 Quad-A, District III championship game on a sun-soaked day at HersheyPark Stadium. We played over our heads and led late until the Colts got sick of us and swatted us away like pesky gnats. All they did was send Brady out for three-yard drop passes and let him to the rest.
It was exactly like one of those silly John Wayne movies where some ravenous monster is tearing through the forest with a couple hundred natives on its back trying to bring it down.
That Kyle Brady was pretty good.
Dallas Cowboys vs. Minnesota Vikings
Pick: Dallas (plus-3)
That crazy buckaroo Brett Favre is a gunslinger. The Cowboys play too much defense though—they’ll get that wacky Favre runnin’.
New York Jets vs. San Diego Chargers
Pick: San Diego (minus-7)
If the Jets win this one and make it to the AFC Championship, get ready for all those fawning stories coming from the New York-based media about how dreamy rookie QB Mark Sanchez is. Either way, the sun will shine in San Diego.
It’s 70 degrees in San Diego every stinkin’ day of the year… what are they worried about?
Happy (for entertainment purposes only) wagering!